Reprocessing Memories To Change Beliefs

Beliefs are thoughts we have that have an emotional origin and connection to them. Beliefs usually form from experiences we have, and negative beliefs are often the product of unprocessed emotions. The emotional part of our brains are not aware of the passage of time. To the emotional part of our brains anything you haven’t processed is still happening right now. Being angry brings every instance of unprocessed anger to the front of our minds, and in that moment, you feel all of it. The same goes for fear, anger, guilt, shame, and embarrassment. Positive emotions are usually fully processed more quickly, because we enjoy thinking about them and do so often. Processing memories can happen in multiple ways. Here are a few.

Talking:

When we remember a memory, we don’t actually remember the original memory, we remember the last time that we remembered it. Talking about a memory recontextualizes the memory from the original incident, to the context of the conversation. Talking about difficult memories can help us feel better, as long as we do it in an environment we feel good in and with a person we trust. Depending on how impactful the memory was, it may take multiple instances of  discussing it. It doesn’t matter what the connection you have to the person you discuss it with is, this could be a family member, a friend, a partner, or a therapist. The only important thing is that you feel safer and happier than you did when the original event occurred. If you can find what the negative beliefs are that you associate with that event you can reprocess that idea.

Writing:

Writing activates a different part of the brain and has the advantage of being something you can do slowly and by yourself. Examining different parts of a memory, responding to writing prompts, writing fictional stories about someone experiencing the emotions you have felt, or just writing as much as we can as quickly as we can, can be helpful. So can re-reading what we’ve written some time later, and then writing about it again. Letters to our past selves or people who are no longer in our lives, can give us the opportunity to unpack things in a more natural way. Giving the feelings a physical manifestation can help us notice things we never noticed before and recover from those feelings. 

Time:

When we sleep our brains sort through any unprocessed things it can find, somewhat at random. This isn’t targeted and the more recent an event is the more likely you are to process it while asleep. This means bringing it to your own attention while awake can help, but doesn’t guarantee success. Your brain wants to heal itself from past experiences, but doesn’t have a frame of reference for what should be first other than time. Time heals wounds, but not all of them all at once. 

Movement:

Many people have found success in things like somatic exercise or breathing in intentional ways. Our nervous systems are deeply connected to our brains and our emotions. Things like martial arts, yoga, breathing exercises, massage, and acupuncture can help us let go of things that we have held onto. 

EMDR Therapy

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy is an intensive and evidence based process to directly target the emotions associated with certain memories. The original EMDR treatment involved back and forth eye movement guided by a clinician, but since then professionals have found we can achieve the same results with any bilateral stimulation including, tapping on hands or knees, holding buzzers that alternate, or listening to alternating sounds on headphones. Bilateral stimulation allows a person to activate the emotional parts of a memory, while maintaining awareness of the present and control of their experience. A therapist trained in EMDR helps the client identify negative memories, and guides them through the experience of reprocessing those events in order while maintaining that awareness, and helping to ground them in reality as necessary. This doesn’t change any of the facts of the memory, just the feelings we experience when we think about it. This process is often much faster than the other methods of processing listed above. It is very intense, and takes a lot of energy, and in the words of a friend of mine “uncomfortable because you can feel it working,” but it works. 

Take away:

Negative beliefs are often connected to unprocessed memories. There are several ways of processing them to change negative beliefs, some of which you can do by yourself, and some of which require the involvement of another person. This list isn’t the end all be all, and there are other ways, but these are commonly used.