Where do beliefs come from?
Beliefs are things that we think, that we also have an emotional attachment to, good or bad. We learn about life and the world from our experiences, and beliefs are learned just like any other type of knowledge. We start forming beliefs from the moment we are born, before we form conscious thought or memory. When babies need something they cry, and if that need is met, they will begin to believe that they are safe and cared for. If a toddler gets knocked over by a big dog and gets injured, they might begin to believe that dogs are scary or dangerous. If a parent tells a five year old that Santa brings presents to good little children, and then the child receives gifts, labeled “from Santa,” on Christmas morning, the child will believe that they are good and deserve nice things. That belief may or may not outlast their belief in Santa.
When we have any kind of experience that impacts us emotionally it teaches us something about the world, each other, or ourselves. Whether the feeling is joy, fear, anger, grief, love, shame, relief, or something else, that feeling becomes part of who we are and the way that we see things. Sometimes when bad things happen to us we develop negative beliefs about ourselves, other people, or the world. If you were in a car accident for example, you might start to believe driving is unsafe, that you cannot trust other people to be good drivers, that leaving the house is unsafe, that you are not competent, or something else depending on the circumstances of the accident, how quickly you recover, and the beliefs you already had. These beliefs might be there to keep you safe, one of your brain’s ways of avoiding potential danger. You could actually have a positive reaction. You might believe you’re lucky to be alive, that the universe cares about you, that your community will support you when bad things happen, that you are a much better driver than that jerk that hit you, or something else. You might have multiple positive and/or negative beliefs associated with the one event. You may not have had any particular beliefs about cars or driving before the event, but now that you have those beliefs, it would be difficult to change them.
Beliefs help us to have a foundational understanding of the world and to make decisions more easily. Your brain wants to keep them. That does not make them permanent though. We develop new beliefs all the time and sometimes we replace old beliefs with new ones. If you believe you are unsafe while driving because of a negative experience, but you have to keep driving to work, you are able to, and you drive around often and have positive experiences, that might begin to change the belief. If you have a negative experience with a dog growing up, you might believe dogs are dangerous, but if you grow up and your neighbor has a dog that you see everyday and is always pleasant to be around, you might change your mind. This can also be true of positive beliefs changing into negative beliefs. You might believe that people are inherently kind, and then you see some bad things happen, you might change your mind and start believing people are inherently selfish.
So what can we do with this?
Beliefs come from experiences. We can look at our lives and figure out where some of our beliefs come from. If there is something new we want to believe, or something we want to stop believing, we can ask “What would it take to change my mind about this? What would I need to see? What would I need to know?” and seek out those experiences. This is a process that takes time, but is worth it.