Grounding Techniques: How to Calm Your Mind and Body When Emotion Hits

Grounding exercises are simple techniques you can use alone to become calmer and more focused during moments of distress. There are a lot of different grounding exercises. Some work by helping you to notice your surroundings, like what you can see, hear, or touch.  Others  help you to notice what is happening in your thoughts and body. And still some help by distracting you, some shock you out of your flight or fight response, some engage your flight or fight response fully to use up the adrenaline and convince your subconscious that the danger has passed, and many do two or more of these things at the same time. Today I am just going to talk a little bit about what they are, and future posts in this series will explore different grounding techniques, how to do them, and why they work.

What is a grounding excercise?

A grounding exercise is a small movement or thought exercise you can use to refocus your mind and regulate your nervous system. Deep breathing is a common, classic example of a grounding exercise, but it’s not the only one. There are a wide variety of exercises people do. Some of these techniques ask you to focus on details of your surroundings, or sensations in your body, in order to focus your thoughts, and remind you that you are in a safe place. Some of these techniques ask you to breathe or make small movements that will help your nervous system regulate. Some of these exercises will ask you to think about positive or neutral things that will help you feel calmer. Different techniques are useful depending on the situation and the needs of the person using them. The common idea between the exercises is they can help to bring you into the present moment, recognize safety, slow down racing thoughts, and regulate an activated nervous system. 

Who can use grounding techniques?

Most people can benefit from using grounding exercises in real life. Stress is an emotion everyone feels sometimes, and grounding techniques are a great way to reduce the negative impacts of that stress. A grounding exercise can also be a way to center yourself before or after a stressful event like a big test, a job interview, or driving through rush hour traffic. A grounding exercise can be a simple way to manage symptoms of disorders that cause a lot of stress, for example PTSD or Social Anxiety. 

When should I use a grounding exercise?

Grounding exercises should be used when you are scared, worried, or angry, AND when you are excited, happy, and calm. In order for a grounding exercise to be effective, it is important to practice while feeling calm, or at least regulated, so that you build positive associations with the grounding exercise. Most people, understandably, wouldn’t think to do this. The point of a grounding exercise is to reduce anxiety, so why would you do it if you aren’t distressed? It requires some forethought and preparation, that we usually don’t realize we need, until after having an intensely negative experience. Practice using a grounding exercise the next time you feel safe, physically comfortable, and relaxed. In the shower, on your lunch break, as you’re trying to fall asleep, at home with your dog in your lap, or in your literal happy place, take a moment to experiment with these. If you use these frequently when you are calm, they will be effective when you are stressed.

Do grounding exercises when you are somewhere physically safe, able to stay still and, when possible, where you are either alone or around someone you feel very comfortable with. Closing your eyes, and counting to ten, while breathing deeply is a fantastic way to calm yourself down. You shouldn’t do it while driving through traffic, in a swimming pool, or in the middle of a walkway at the airport; you could get hurt, or cause someone else to be hurt.

Why haven’t ground exercises worked for me?

It can be really frustrating to be told “Take deep breaths” when you’re in the middle of a crisis, especially if you have tried it before and it didn’t work. Even worse is when someone presents this to you as if you’ve never thought of breathing before. As a therapist, I have had a lot of people telling me that grounding, or even breathing exercises specifically, “just don’t work”. There are a few reasons that this can be true. One of the really common problems is that we usually only need to use a grounding exercise when we’re in an emotionally activated place. Ironically, doing something every time you are anxious is a very efficient way to make your brain and body associate that action with danger and pain, and turn it into a trigger  for fear and other negative emotions. How do we get around that? The best way is to practice grounding exercises often, in moments that we feel calm, safe, and comfortable, which builds positive associations with those actions.

Another reason a grounding exercise might not work, is that every person in this world is at least a little bit different from every other person in this world, and what works for one might not work for another. If the reason you need to feel more grounded in a situation has to do with your environment, an exercise to help you focus on your surroundings just won’t work, which does not mean it’s a bad exercise, it just means it won’t work for you then and there in that moment.

What else is important to know?

It’s also important to remember that when you feel intense emotions, your brain is trying to give your body a tool to survive, by either fleeing or fighting. Sometimes our threat response doesn’t always translate well to the modern world, but if your gut says you need to either run or fight, there is a very good reason. Use grounding exercises to regulate, not ignore, intense emotions. If you are in a dangerous situation, get out of there as soon as you can. If something is causing you a lot of stress repeatedly, consider if there are ways you could avoid it.

The Takeaway

Grounding techniques are a fantastic tool to work through distress in the moment. If you feel like you might want more support around the underlying issues causing the distress, consider finding a therapist or support group. I would be happy to speak with you more about integrating these techniques and working on your own personal trauma.